Pulse Survey - Life at Home 2021: Couples

Of respondents living with a spouse or partner, 96% said they are in an opposite sex relationship while 4% are in a same sex relationship.

Respondents living with a partner or spouse were asked

‘Between you and your spouse/partner, who is mostly responsible for organising and taking care of:

• household chores (e.g. cleaning, tidying, laundry etc.)?
• grocery shopping, meal planning and preparation?
• home and garden maintenance (e.g. painting, clearing gutters, cutting grass etc.)?
• setting up/renewing utilities (e.g. electricity, refuse collection) and home insurance policies?
• financial decisions related to household’s savings, investments or borrowings?
• socialising (e.g. meeting up with extended family or friends)?
• household health related issues (e.g. medical/dental appointments and check-ups)

Parents with a child (aged 18 or younger) in their home were asked three additional questions related to who is mostly responsible for

• providing structure and discipline to the children in the household
• providing emotional support to the children in the household
• providing educational support to children in the household (e.g. helping with homework, early educational development)

Response options to these questions were (1) Mostly me (2) Balanced and (3) Mostly my spouse/partner

Responsibility for organising and taking care of household tasks and chores

Those living with a same sex partner were more likely to report a Balanced division of responsibility for organising and taking care of household chores, home and garden maintenance, grocery shopping, meal planning and preparation , household health related issues and socialising, while respondents in an opposite sex relationship were more likely to report a Balanced division of responsibility for financial decisions related to household savings, investment and borrowing and for the setting-up or renewing of household utilities.

Two in five (41%) respondents living with a partner of the same sex said that the responsibility for groceries and meal planning and preparation is Balanced, compared with 35% for people in opposite sex relationships. Just over half (51%) of people in same sex relationships and 42% of those in opposite sex relationships said responsibility for household chores is Balanced.

The largest difference in Balanced responsibilities between respondents in opposite sex and same sex relationships is for the task of organising household health issues (e.g. medical/dental appointments and check-ups) with 67% of respondents in a same sex relationship reporting that this is Balanced, compared with 53% of respondents in an opposite sex relationship.

Respondents in an opposite sex couple were more likely to report a Balanced division of responsibility for financial decisions (62% compared with 54% of those in same sex relationships). Just over two in three (67%) of those living with a same sex partner said the responsibility for organising and taking care of socialising (e.g. meeting up with extended family or friends) is Balanced compared with 59% of respondents in an opposite sex relationship. See Tables 2.1,2.2 and Figure 2.1.

Respondents are classified into three groups; those who said responsibilities were balanced for less than three of the seven household tasks and chores (0-2 Balanced); those who said responsibilities were balanced for three or four of the seven tasks (3-4 Balanced); those who said responsibilities were balanced for five or more of the seven tasks (5-7 Balanced).

Respondents in opposite sex couples were more likely to report a lower number of tasks where responsibilities are Balanced with 38% saying only two or less of the tasks are balanced (0-2 Balanced) and 44% saying either three or four of the tasks are balanced (3-4 Balanced), compared with 33% and 38% respectively for those in same sex relationships. Respondents living with a same sex partner were more likely to report that responsibilities for five or more of the tasks are Balanced (5-7 Balanced) (29% compared with 18% of opposite sex couples).

Women living with a male partner were most likely to report 0–2 Balanced household tasks (47%) and least likely to report 5-7 Balanced tasks (14%). Men in same sex relationships were most likely to report 5-7 Balanced tasks (30%). See Table 2.3 and Figure 2.2.

Younger respondents in both same sex and opposite sex couples were more likely than older respondents to report Balanced responsibility for organising and taking care of household tasks. One in three (35%) respondents living with a same sex partner aged 18 to 34 years reported 5-7 Balanced household tasks, while 27% of respondents in opposite sex relationships in this age category reported 5-7 Balanced tasks. 

For same sex couples, those aged 55 or over were least likely to report 5-7 Balanced household tasks (16%) while for opposite sex couples, those aged 45 to 54 years were the least likely (15%) to report this. See Table 2.3 and Figure 2.3.

Satisfaction with how household tasks and chores are divided between partners

Respondents living with a spouse or partner were asked to rate on a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is 'not satisfied at all' and 10 is 'completely satisfied', how satisfied they are with how household tasks and chores are divided between the partners. These respondents were also asked to rate their satisfaction level with how the most important decisions are made in their households. Respondents with a score between zero and five are classified in this report as having a Low level of satisfaction. Those with a score between six and eight have a Medium level of satisfaction and those with a score of nine or ten are classified as having a High level of satisfaction.

Older respondents in same and opposite sex relationships were most likely to report High level of satisfaction with how household tasks are divided. Almost one in two (49%) respondents in opposite sex relationships and 43% of respondents in a same sex relationship aged 55 or over reported High level of satisfaction with the division of household tasks. See Table 2.3 and Figure 2.4.

Respondents are more likely to have a High satisfaction level with how household tasks are divided if they do not have a child 18 years or younger living in the home. One in four (24%) respondents living with a same sex partner and a child, reported High satisfaction compared with 40% of those without a child.

One in three (30%) respondents living with an opposite sex partner and a child said they have High satisfaction with how household tasks are divided compared with 46% of those without a child. See Table 2.3 and Figure 2.5.

Disagreements between partners

Respondents of the Pulse Survey who live with a partner were asked how often they had disagreements with their partner about household chores and household financial decisions. Respondents could answer Often; Sometimes; Hardly ever; Never.

Respondents are more likely to disagree with their partner about household chores than they are to disagree about financial decisions, with four in ten respondents in same sex (41%) and opposite sex (42%) couples reporting they Sometimes or Often disagree about household chores. Two in ten respondents in same sex (18%) and opposite sex (23%) couples indicate they Sometimes or Often disagree about household financial decisions. See Table 2.4 and Figure 2.6.

Younger age groups in opposite sex relationships were more likely than older age groups in opposite sex relationships to Sometimes or Often disagree about household chores with half (49%) of those in the 18 to 34, and 35 to 44 year age groups reporting this. Across all age groups, those living with a same sex partner are less likely to Sometimes or Often disagree about household chores when compared with respondents in an opposite sex relationship.

In opposite sex couples, those aged 55 or over are least likely to Sometimes or Often disagree about financial decisions (19%), while in same sex couples, those aged 18 to 34 years are least likely to report this (13%). See Table 2.4 and Figure 2.7.

 Who makes the most important decisions

Respondents were asked ‘Who would you say is the person in your relationship who makes the most important decisions?’ Response options to these questions were (1) Mostly me (2) Balanced and (3) Mostly my spouse/partner

About seven in ten respondents in opposite sex couples (70%) and same sex couples (67%) reported Balanced decision making. In opposite sex couples, those aged 55 or over and 45 to 54 year olds were most likely to report Balanced decision making (73% and 72% respectively). These age groups were least likely to report Balanced decision making in same sex couples (63% and 64% respectively) while the 35 to 44 year age group in same sex couples was most likely to report Balanced decision making (73%). See Table 2.5 and Figure 2.8.

Respondents aged 55 or over living with a partner of the opposite sex were most likely to be satisfied with how the most important decisions are made, with over half (56%) reporting High satisfaction compared with between 46% and 47% for the younger age groups. Of respondents in same sex relationships the youngest age group were most likely to report a High satisfaction level (57%) compared with between 41% and 45% for older age groups. See Table 2.5 and Figure 2.9.

Those who took part in the Pulse survey who are living with a partner were asked whether they could spend money on themselves without asking permission from their partner, with 92% of those living with a same sex partner indicating that they could and 88% of those in opposite sex relationships saying they could. Where both people in the relationship are employed full-time, 86% of respondents in opposite sex relationships said they are free to spend on themselves, compared with 98% of those in same sex relationships. Those not employed and in opposite sex or same sex relationships were least likely to report being free to spend on themselves (85% and 86% respectively). See Table 2.5 and Figure 2.10.